everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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