What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
