if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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