she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
