A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
