Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
