you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Panties = found
Randomize
