sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
