You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
