After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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