so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
