can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
