I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
