clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
