No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
