it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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