Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
