guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize