i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
