my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
