You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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