ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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