i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
