put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
