paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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