even my farts smell like vagina
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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