i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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