Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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