I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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