Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
