Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
someone owes me an orgasm
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
my poor anus
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
