Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
