Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
