There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
