There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You're like the curious george of whores
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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