I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
