Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
