No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
