honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
