I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
