If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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