So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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