White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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