let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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