we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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