i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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