dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
soo... how was my night?
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