Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
please don't ironically join a cult
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