I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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