Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Your penis caused this!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
