We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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