every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Is it penis luge time yet?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
