well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
