Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
well you can't waste a boner
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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