fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize