He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
