Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
