it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
