I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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