all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
