I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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