the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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