Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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