everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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