How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
