maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
