we should wear snuggies to the strip club
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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