Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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