I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
In other news, I just burned my penis
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize