i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
high people should be assigned attendants
i will never coherently bang her
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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