No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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