did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
