if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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