Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
