North Korea, Best Korea!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
