I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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